Thursday 101202

Back squat 1 – 10 – 1 – 20 – 1 – 30 reps

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Lisa, Jorge and who is that by the door?

Lungs are burning, head is spinning and I really want to quit.  Why did I come in here today? Is it really only round one?  How many more of these do I have to do?  Today might be the day I actually break down and quit a workout.  Why am I not better at this by now? These are the thoughts that ran through my head as I began the first rounds of "Kelly".

Every time someone passed me, all I could think of is it's time.  Time to refocus, get back up and take care of myself again.  There is nothing unusual about getting caught up in life, forgetting I need sleep, water and time to rejuvenate.  Forgetting that meals won't plan and prepare themselves, fish oil won't magically enter my veins and that caffeine is a poor substitute for verve.

This cycle happens to all of us, we know what works, we know we will be better if… but alas, we allow other things to become more important than our health and fitness.  We just get caught up and I knew this was why I was feeling the way I did about this workout, at this moment in time.  

As I began round three, I started to think of all the athletes that I had seen do "Kelly" today before me. How hard I had pushed a few of them, how awe inspiring some of them had performed and how a few had the same experience I was having, a defeating one.  What separated us all and what brought all of us together, and why was I still doing box jumps?  And then I began to turn around, it didn't matter how I was feeling right now, I was finishing the workout, it didn't matter how much I hurt, I would be back tomorrow, it didn't matter how negative my self talk was in the moment, I'd still cheer on my fellow team mates as they ran by me.

I know that the difference between good and great is attitude and planned actions.  I wasn't about to get mad in this moment, because I didn't do what I knew I needed to do to be my best today.  If I want to be my best it has to be an active journey and continuous journey and one with days, weeks and maybe months that I am not always my best.  It would be very easy for me to get mad, frustrated and even down right angry that I was not doing "better".  Better then what?  The athletes around me? The trainers I workout with? The people online?  They are no measure for me, only a measure of themselves.  If I am to get better part of that is doing the best I can for me, today.

As I began round five I started to give myself goals again, at which point the wallballs destroyed me.  I realized that if I wanted to be better, I'd have to make it hurt more, I'd have to get to bed earlier, drink more water, plan my days better and make it a priority again.  There is no blame in how I preformed, not even on myself, there is no need as the blame is useless.

Before I left the gym I reluctantly logged my time, hmmm.  I had knocked 3 minutes off from the last time I had done Kelly.  I must be getting better then I was, even if I was feeling as though I was not.  Progress in the right direction, I knew I could do even better and my mind was going to be the first thing I was going to change.

Comments

  1. James :

    I’m trying to figure out who wrote this. It can’t be Matt because no one passes Matt in a workout. It can’t be Cherie because there aren’t any typos. Joylyn?
    Regardless, I love this post. This is exactly what I was feeling today (minus the three minute PR). One of the great things about exercise in general and Crossfit specifically is that it lets you know how you’re doing. You can study your ass off, but you won’t know until your final exam whether you did it right. You get a final exam in Crossfit every day. If you want to be better and to feel better, you have to act better.

  2. Joylyn :

    All CC on this post–definitely a keeper.
    Rough wods for me in the last week, sometimes my body just feels plain badly broken down, but some ol’ CF hero Matt Chan told me once, “ya break it down, and then build it back up.” CrossFit is great at that, at making me find that breaking point, and then finding a way to finish anyway. Finishing anyway, whether you’re last, or modified, or defeated–that’s where you begin building for the next time.
    And hey, like Cherie said, you know you’ll be back tomorrow.
    Here’s me, looking forward to LOTS of tomorrows (good, bad, and soso days included) with all of YOU amazing people at Verve.

  3. Slaughter :

    Kelly didn’t go so good for me yesterday, had some major stomach pains starting at the end of round 1, probably due to a lot of things in this post so it rings pretty true. Chipotle is not a substitute for healthy food.
    34:__+, 10 minutes slower than my last time, I will be back to that one refocused

  4. Matt :

    Way to stick with it Cherie. Funny how other’s struggles are a source for motivation. I have a feeling some peeps are going to need this motivation during the 20 rep back squat… jus’ sayin’.

  5. GregB :

    re-focus/ re-energize/ re-arrange/ re-organize/ re-dedicate Get after it.

  6. gerson :

    Outstanding post… thanks Cherie

  7. Rich :

    Exactly what I was feeling yesterday – you put it into words… thank you!

  8. ALVIN :

    DIG IT!!!

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